2K7: A Year in Review.

Here we go! Last few hours of 2007 quickly fade into oblivion as the clock tick-tocks seconds away. It's been one hell of a year. Pretty much everyone in Hollywood got preggers (one trend I'm glad I didn't follow) with poptarts, socialites, and actresses - for the most part - foregoing marriage. A few of the crowd favorites have to be good ole' Brit and baby sister JamieLynn, Lily Allen, Nicole Riche and I'm sure a whole slew of others, proving that money heals all flaws, abortion is so late 90s, and contraception has gone the way of the dinosaur.

Britney Spears takes home the prize for biggest train wreck of '07, which is an admirable crown considering her competitors Paris Hilton, Nicole Riche, Courtney Love, and other marginally famous Page 6 losers gave her a run for her money. Between DUIs and bastard children, the celebrity rumor mills never got a chance to rest this year.

Politically, Hilary's campaign leveled a huge mud-slinging assault on Barack Obama, who by appearances alone should beat out that dried up old hag. WHO LIKES HER? Christ. And as a side note, with Oprah on his side, can Barack really lose? I mean, come on! Doesn't Oprah own like 40% of the nation's wealth? ... or maybe that's globally...

Anyways, taxes have skyrocketed, property values have plummeted, the real estate market is looking dire, we're on the verge of recession... or are we in a recession? Yeah, I think we're in one. Maybe Ron Paul isn't such a bad choice... Hmmm... Gas prices are astronomical (OPEC bastards). The polar icecaps continue to melt, temperatures are above average for winter, and Al Gore is still an asshole for concocting the Live8 concert which did nothing to improve environmental awareness of global warming and did everything to set us back light years in terms of energy expenditures and pollution.

God bless American ignorance and hypocrisy.

So maybe it wasn't a terrific year for Hollywood, American politics, and the earth in general, BUT it was a pretty damn good year in music!

Timbaland's new album featuring artists from all walks of life including Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado, and New Republic burned up the charts and left many a coked-out club goer gyrating even after last call.

A few of my personal favorites of the year would undoubtedly include Rilo Kiley's Under the Black Light, Tegan and Sara's The Con, Bright Eyes' Cassadega, Brand New's The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me, and Fall Out Boy's Infinity on High.

When reflecting upon 2007, you can't go for more than a few sentences without mentioning Britney Spears - each time with a new reference to something awful she spawned this year... which brings us to Black Out. When you're going to stage a comeback, you better find someone to produce the most epic CD imaginable... her 2-hit wonder is far from noteworthy and if anything, only confirms our suspicions that - dare I say - SHE ISN'T TALENTED!

Others responsible for filling our ears with infectious, vile, banal disjointed attempts at lyrical cohesiveness would include Fergie for her hit Clumsy, Avril Lavigne for Girlfriend, and despite how fun it is to bust out these dance moves when drunk, Soulja Boy for Crank Dat.

So, that's pop-culture in a nutshell.

How was my year you ask? Well, think of the worst day of your life... then replicate it 365 times. That was my year.

2007 was by far the shittiest year in what has been an otherwise rockin' life.

Nothing of note happened to me this year... NOTHING.

Much like Eli Manning's performance against the Patriots, I'll start things off on a high note and end with a downer:

Good things about this year -

I had 2 completely rad Halloween costumes (as Britney and a Vampire/Cowgirl). Halloween, as always, was the highlight of my year.

Dug my way out of mounting credit card debt - TWICE!

Established myself as the best cook out of all of my peers.

Stopped wasting my time/money/energy/health on someone who shall not be named.

Spent a TON of time with my best friend and probably never laughed harder in my life.

... That's about where the distinctly positive things stop.

Now for the downward spiral:

I dropped grad school in psychology for business school instead... Crazy, right? NO! Because there's no money in research psychology - quite possibly my only good move this year.

I got diagnosed with a thyroid disease, struggled with some pretty awful depression, lost this red shirt that I REALLY loved, watch the Giants squander another year of potential, and ended the month of December with a Duke Basketball loss to Pitt, members of my most hated conference in NCAA sports, The Big East.

My teaching job was mundane and aside from occasionally eyeing a mentally challenged, but OH-SO attractive interoffice mail delivery man, nothing really got accomplished... Some of my students learned English... others learned how to fake learning English (cheating on written exams would be one route).

I lived in 3 different states - Virginia for School, North Carolina with my ex, and then came home to Jersey... The movie Garden State is all too accurate in it's depiction of what a return to Jersey is like after a few years absence... (Shitty.)

I made 1 huge mistake that pretty much cost me a group of friends - and as for that, all I can say is I lived and learned, never to put my hand in the fire again.

I got my heartbroken twice... once for good reason (growing apart after 5 years sucks, but yeah, it happens), the second time... for not such a good reason, but I learned a lot about myself...


Which brings me to resolutions!!!!

1.) Quit Smoking - done and done! Tried a cigarette for my birthday and it SUCKED... grossed me out entirely. Habit kicked - cold turkey. Pretty badass if you ask me.

2.) Quit Partying - which includes getting shitfaced... at any time. DONE WITH IT. I've done so many stupid things this year due to severe inebriation which has only undermined my intelligence and lessened my value as a human being in eyes of people who didn't know me all that well to start out with... Yeah, I drank to mask a lot of pain this year, but I'm not really upset about anything anymore so... I'm over it.

3.) STOP BEING IMPULSIVE - patience is a virtue that eludes me. Gotta work on that... I've sold myself short too many times by indulging all too frequently in spontaneity... I see it as an exuberance for life - others see it as foolish and take advantage of my 'eagerness' to try new things/spend money/you name it. This ain't my world... Gotta play by other people's rules.

4.) Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - I have a quick freak-out trigger and it isn't hard for me to pull a bitch-card on someone at the drop of a hat. I'll be working on not caring about things that aren't life and death.

5.) Forego Social Activity for Some Alone Time - I'm way too social an animal and definitely a party girl. I'm 23. It's time to buckle down. I plan on reading more, focusing on becoming more spiritual - not religious - although I must say, I've found a new joy in attending Church on the weekends. Learn a new skill... Improve my very lacking mathematics abilities... VOLUNTEER again... Get back to being the 'me' that I used to like.

As for words of wisdom, I've learned that it is better to assume that people are entirely self-serving and inherently bad. It is better to be prepared for shitty human behavior than be surprised and taken off gaurd when someone inevitably screws you over.

- Oh yeah... I also lost my sense of optimism in 2007. If you find it, let me know.

So, that's about it. My year in review. I look forward to 2k8. I'll be working a better job, going to school, moving out of my parents' house, and be able to remember my weekends.

2007, I bid you farewell. Goodbye and Good Riddance!